I don’t sleep as well as I should. I get less hours than before. Friends are lost to the wind. That job interview didn’t go as planned. Sometimes my anxieties get the best of me. Then again, I went to that interview looking terrible, neck up and neck down. I can still do the work, work the whole day and then repeat the cycle. No, that’s probably fantasy.
I want to go after my actual passion. When I relax, I think about canvas and paint. I need a job. You know a ‘real job’ because for the time being I’m running low on money. I’m okay though, headaches aren’t much trouble. I have one now but I won’t bother you with that.
I have time to go after my dream. Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck between the future and the now. Honestly, it feels like I’m trapped in a prism of troubles. I can’t get a handle on them. I’m getting old. I put a pistol in my mouth the other day. That was bold.
When I was young I was told to go after what I wanted. In the future I see many great things. Though my vision blurs and people misinterpret my words. My future is multicolored with beautiful vistas and I’ll make that painting come alive someday.
* * *
I usually get less than the recommended amount of sleep. I lose more friends than I keep. Job interview went south. Sometimes my anxieties get the best of me. Then again, I didn’t look presentable from the neck up, much less the rest of me. I can do the work like before. I can work the whole day and then come back tomorrow for more. That’s fantasy. I want to go after my real passion. When I’m relaxing or napping, I think about rapping.
I need a side job, something divine. I’m okay though, headaches are fine. I have one now and I won’t even whine. I have enough time to go after my real dream. It seems like I’m stuck between that dream and this reality but actually I’m trapped in a bubble of troubles I can’t control. I’m getting old. I took some pills and threw them back up. I’m getting bold.
I was told as youngster, to go after that big dream. In my future I see big things. Sometimes my vision blurs, my words slur. Ahead of me I see a woman who needs a nice fur.
* * *
My friend doesn’t get much sleep. He lost other friends but I “stuck around”. His last job interview didn’t go so well. His anxieties get the best of him. Then again, he didn’t exactly look ‘fine’ from the neck up or neck down. But he’s able to the do work like before, that’s what he said. He could work the whole day and repeat it tomorrow.
Honestly, I think he wants to go after his true passion. When we relax he talks about movie making but of course he needs a job because he’s low on cash. He’s okay, headaches are better. He probably has one now. He says he’s fine, “there’s enough time to go after what I want.” He’s stuck between that and this reality. No, he’s trapped in a circle of troubles he can’t control.
He’s getting old. He actually approached that building and got to the top floor. I’m glad he called me. He’s getting bold. He said when he was young people told him to go after his dreams. In his future he says he sees many complex and interesting things but then sometimes his vision gets blurred.
Often, he speaks unrealistically. He says his dream is “a special thing”. I hope he gets there, eventually, for his own sake. Maybe it would settle him down?
* * *
Allison Mulley doesn’t get the recommended amount of sleep. She loses more friends than she can keep up with. Though, those ‘friends’ weren’t really friends. Sometimes her anxieties get the best of her. As a result her last job interview went terribly. Though, she did not actually look fit to be there. She was dressed competently but not as a person who actually wanted to work.
Of course she’s capable of doing the work, she has in the past. She could work the whole day and repeat that tomorrow. Well, this is what she tells herself. It’s all in her head. Truly she wants to go after her real passion. When she relaxes she often thinks about her life as an actress. She needs a job. She’s broke. She’s not okay (but she’d tell you that) her headaches come and go. She has one at this very moment.
She says she has enough time to go after her dream. She says she’s stuck between obtaining it and her current reality. Truthfully she’s trapped inside of a box. Inside the box are troubles that are controllable but take an amount of effort. She’s getting older. She slipped herself under the bathwater the other day. She’s getting bolder.
She told herself she’d always go after her desires but she hesitated with eyes focused on the future. There she sees pleasurable things but her vision blurs. At times, she’s not coherent.
Her dream is a house on the hill, a picket fence, freshly cut grass, children playing in the front yard, and her husband holding the front door open for her saying “Come on in honey, isn’t this place nice?”
Rickey Rivers Jr was born and raised in Mobile Alabama. He is a writer and cancer survivor. He likes a lot of stuff. You don’t care about the details. He has been previously published in Fabula Argentea, ARTPOST magazine, the anthology Chronos, Enchanted Conversations Magazine, (among other publications). https://storiesyoumightlike.wordpress.com/. Twitter.com/storiesyoumight
Image via Pixabay